Don’t be a Slave to the Man

So just to get some of the boring admin crap out the way first… Like, where the hell have I been all your life? And why the heck haven’t I blogged in forever? I shall explain.

I may have accidentally had an unscheduled extended break from the blogosphere for a while. Like somewhere around a year ish. The reason why? Well I started a new job. A job that came with a whole new lifestyle and a lack of routine. A job in which time just ‘flies’ by and I feel tired approximately 90% of the time.

I am a flight attendant now. I love my job. It’s fun, I get to work with some great people and fly all over the country, seeing cities I wouldn’t see otherwise. But boy, has it been a lifestyle change!

It’s no 9-5. Sometimes I start work at 4am, sometimes it’s 10pm. Sometimes I’m away from home for four days at a time, sometimes it’s only one.I usually only sleep in my own bed a few nights a week and miss my partner and doggo A LOT! There’s no routine. And I like routine. Even excercise has taken a bench seat. When I am home, I really value the time I get to spend with my two boys. I appreciate the sleep ins, being an introvert as much as socially acceptable and catching up on z’s. But I also have to find time for life errands, seeing friends and just general adulting.

The adjustment was especially hard when I first started. I was exhausted allllll the time (now I’m just tired the majority of the time), I was getting sick way too regularly (because, passengers and germs and run down), and did I mention I was always bloody tired? So naturally, my absence from One Active Life was to be expected in those initial months of finding my feet and getting accustom (both mentally and physically) to #cabincrewlife. But slowly, as I spent more time away from writing, the less motivated I was. I thought about it sometimes, but never opened my laptop. The more time away, the less passionate I became. To the point, One Active Life wasn’t even something I thought about anymore.

Writing used to be something I enjoyed. Something I loved. Something that gave me a sense of purpose and gave me a outlet for self expression. It wasn’t a burden. It was a joy. A way for me to clear my head and hopefully inspire others at the same time. So I’ve had to ask myself, how did I let it get to this point? How did I allow my priorities to slip?

I read a quote the other day which is relevant on so many levels, including this context. It said:

Your killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself.

Heavy. But holy wow isn’t it true?!

So many of us work so hard, we have no life left in us to actually live. To actually enjoy our down time, our hobbies, our passions, our families, our friends – the simple things. How freakn sad is that! Where’s the balance? And for the most part we are burning ourselves out for someone who doesn’t even appreciate or acknowledge all the hard work and overtime we put in.

To a large company you are disposable. You are just a number. A easily replaceable cog in the machine. If that’s all you are to them, don’t make them your whole life. Unless you are self-employed, living out your passion or perhaps working for a small business that truly appreciates you, I know you can relate! (Having worked for both a small business and large organisations, I’m raising my hands in an ‘amen’ to that!)

By all means, do your job, do it well, work hard but don’t take that shit home with you. Clock off and clock off mentally too. Don’t get too busy having a career that you forget to have a life. Stop working so bloody hard for a company that doesn’t value your worth and start living! Find a healthy work life balance so that in twenty years when you do look back, you remember doing more than just working, eating and sleeping.

And while I (clearly) have a lot to express about all this to the point I could go on to write a novel, I’ll try not to digress any further. Basically, I’ve realised that I too have allowed my job to take over my life this past year. And as much as I do love flying, (it’s not the job itself I have beef with, but the by-product of #cabincrewlife aka the tiredness, the fatigue, exhaustion and lack of motivation to do anything other than hermit), I’ve decided things need to change. I’m no longer going to be a slave to the Man. I’m going to do as much as I can to be home more often and manage my sleep. To enjoy my time off and spend time with loved ones. But most importantly, I am going to start writing again, rekindle that passion and maybe even feel purpose beyond serving tea and coffee on a plane.

I can’t promise it’ll be a regular thing but I am committed to do something for ME again. I AM going to fall in love with writing again.

Unit next time…

Love Eloise x

Advertisements

This is A Story of Self-Love

Last month I turned 25. And in the same week of my birthday, I was told by someone that I looked 18 and by another that they always thought I seemed older. I wasn’t entirely sure how to take either of those comments, but I guess I should be flattered. I am apparently a youthful looking 25-year-old with a maturity level beyond that. Not so bad really 😛

Either way, I love being 25! There is just something about this age that is amazing. I feel like I have reached a real turning point in my life. Not necessarily defined by age, this positive shift really began to take form at the cusp of 2015. It was at this time that I finally found a happy place within myself. I finally learnt to love who I am, embrace my imperfections and be accepting of myself.

I wanted to do something that would forever remind me of this truly blissful feeling.  So I did. For my 25th birthday, I gifted myself with a little piece of love. A present to me, from me, to celebrate my quarter-of-a-century milestone. I had a small little heart tattooed on my left wrist. It is more than just some ink on my skin though, and this is more than just the story behind my tattoo. This is a story of self-love.

FullSizeRender

The heart itself is imperfect. Imperfect like me. It is my love heart. The heart I draw on a piece of paper. The heart I have been practicing to draw in that exact position of my wrist for years. Yes, it is something I have wanted to get done for a while. Something I had spoken about with one of my closest friends many times. However, the moment was never quite right. I didn’t want to have something permanently inked on my skin at a time in which I doubted myself, hated myself and abused myself. I didn’t want to have negative associations with it.

But then, this year, the timing became oh so right. It was like, one day, all of a sudden I had a complete shift. To go from being someone who lacked self confidence, abused my body, bullied myself and cared too much about what others thought of me, to the place I am now, is magical. Honestly, I have never been more content and at peace than I am now. I no longer feel the need to impress others. I no longer put such a strong emphasis on my physical form. I am proud of my little quirks because it is my differences that make me who I am. I am 100%, unapologetically me. Dorkiness and all.  It is a truly empowering place to be.

And so this is exactly what my tattoo signifies. It signifies self-love and every time I look at it I am reminded of the reason behind it’s presence on my skin.

“To accept ourselves as we are, means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”

Love Eloise xx

You might also like Love Who You Are

Love Who You Are

Loving Yourself is the best thing you will ever do.

self-love2

‘To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.’ – Alan Cohen

Learning to love myself is probably the hardest challenge I have ever had to face. I have never struggled with anything more than I have done with this. I have always wished to be one of those women who truly and wholeheartedly love themselves. Someone so utterly happy and content in their own skin that they absolutely radiate with confidence. One of those women who, despite their flaws, still embrace who they are and accept themselves completely.

Wouldn’t that just be so elevating? So refreshing? To not worry about how you look every single minute of every single day. To not be paralyzed by negative self-talk, hatred and low self-esteem. To be so content with who you are as a person that you never feel the need to impress anyone. Can you just imagine how wonderful that would be?

Well let me tell you, it really is A-MAZING!!!

After years (I’d say roughly 24 or so), I have finally found happiness in who I am. I can finally say that I truly love and accept myself. I am content, confident and proud of the woman I have become. I accept myself and my flaws. It has certainly been a long and treacherous journey with many bumps along the way but I, Eloise Smith, can finally say… I love me.

I think the reason I struggled with the concept of self love for such a long time is because I was on quest for something I could never be… Perfect. A trap, a lot of us fall into.

Loving yourself isn’t about being 100% happy with every last inch of your body and soul. It’s not about being perfect. After all, perfection doesn’t exist. Self love is about acceptance. It is about accepting that you have flaws, that you make mistakes, that you are unique. And it’s those things that make you, you! It’s about truly embracing yourself for the beautiful individual that you are.

And I’m not just talking about body love. What I am really talking about is, inner love. Self approval from within. It’s when you wholly love the person you are inside, that everything else follows. When you finally find and understand yourself as a person, when you finally become happy with all your personality quirks and discover your inner beauty, you realize that having the perfect body really doesn’t matter. Your body is just a shell. A shell for what actually matters – your mind and your soul.

The absolute best thing about finding self love and acceptance is the opportunities that follow. For me, it feels like my eyes have been opened up to a whole new world of possibilities. I have a new found confidence. I am willing to branch out of my comfort zone. I am finally confident in myself and content with who I am. I no longer fear rejection or ridicule. I no longer need to impress anyone. I like who I am. I like the woman I have become. I am happy with me and if someone else doesn’t like me, then that’s perfectly ok. I am who I am, and people can either choose to take it or leave it.

I’d rather be disliked for who I am than liked for someone I am not.

It is true what they say. Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.

You must learn to love yourself. You must learn to be happy with yourself. Only then can you spread love and happiness to others.

Love Elo xx