A Letter To My Valentine

Because important words should never be left unsaid (and I’m too scared to say them in person yet)

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I could never have imagined things would turn out this way. From what was (to me) just a coffee to catch up with a like-minded person and a chance for good conversation. Possibly an opportunity to make a new friend. Someone I could talk to about cool stuff, real and raw – not just the usual small talk. Just a coffee, not a date. Turned into 3 hours of chats over one long Mac, dinner the next day, a first kiss on the beach under the stars and me drawing love hearts in the sand. (My subconscious knew where it was at).

I never expected any of this.

You have made me feel things I never thought were possible for me to feel again. Things I haven’t experienced in over 5 years. Those butterflies in my stomach, can’t stop smiling, goosebumps on my skin and tingles down my spine, type feelings. I had started to believe I was a heartless bitch incapable of emotions. “What if I told you, I don’t catch the feels?” had become my catch phrase and a standing joke between my friends. But then I met you and I realised that it’s not that I am incapable of feeling, it’s that I hadn’t met someone worthy. It turns out “you just haven’t met the right person yet” isn’t just something loved-up people in relationships say to make you feel less single and alone. It is true.

Ew. I have become a walking cliche. Vomit!

But seriously… you are my “when you know, you know” moment. And I know. I know that what we have, what I feel when I am with you, how much I miss you when we are apart, is not just a typical thing. You make me the happiest I have been in a very long time. You make me smile. You make me belly laugh. You make me feel cared for and appreciated. Heck, I am even willing to give up my ‘me-time’ to spend time with you. Sometimes I even let you come to the beach with me. And that is a big effing deal.

I believe things happen for a reason. People come into our lives at the perfect moment – exactly when we are ready for it. I’ve always trusted in the universe with that. You came in to my life once I had learnt to love and accept myself fully. Once I was content in who I am and comfortable in my own skin. That’s how I know this is real. I was already so happy before I met you, you have just made me happier. Even more in love with life.

You are so thoughtful and selfless. When I am in your arms I feel so safe and loved. I have never been more comfortable around anyone than I am with you and I have to say, I am pretty appreciative that you even like me considering how dorky, easily-distracted,  and awkward I am. Kudos to you for putting up with me and my excitable puppy moments.

You aren’t just the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of at night, you are also someone that inspires me. I admire how committed you are to growing as a person and chasing your goals. I love that you refuse to settle for a life of mediocracy. I love that a life filled with happiness is more important to you than money or things. You appreciate that life is too short to be anything less than happy. These are traits I find so admirable and hope to emulate in my life also.

It is hard for me to bring my guard down. I’ve been hurt too many times before. But with you I am an open book. I’m ready to let my walls come crashing down to let you in even more. I feel vulnerable writing this and I a little bit gross. Maybe we can just roll with “cute” rather than mushy, but you knew you signed up for this sentimental shit when we first met.

I think I have found the healthy relationship I have been waiting for. I know this is just the beginning of something amazing. You are my favourite.

And to think, the happiest 4 months of my life started with a creepy Instagram stalk and an email. Weirdo :p

Love Elo x

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