I’m baaaack! You may have noticed that I have been a little M.I.A of late and that I haven’t posted on here in a while. In fact, it’s been a whole month. Oh dear! Where did the time go? Then again, you may not have noticed my absence at all… (although, I would like to think you have missed my posts dearly and are now overwhelmingly excited to be reading some One Active Life goodness again :P). Either way, I’m here now, back on the blogosphere and armed with an explanation behind my recent disappearing act.
Firstly, I’ve been busy. This is not an excuse I know, but both my time and my mind has been stretched to its capacity lately, which has left me feeling exhausted in every possible way. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Along with working loads (what’s a day off?), bon-voyaging friends running away on traveling adventures (so jealous), celebrating birthdays and planning hens parties, all whilst still trying to keep up with my health and fitness, I’ve also been in the process of packing up my life into both a bunch of boxes and a suitcase. Why? I’m moving house tomorrow (yes, as in just a few hours away) and then I’m jet setting off to Thailand the very next day (for Jess’s wedding might I add). Overwhelming? Yes. Stressful? Yes. Fun? Not really.
Let me just say, it’s certainly not an easy task downsizing and packing up the entire contents of your home into boxes, and it’s even harder when you are also trying to pack for a holiday too. Deciphering what needs to go in a box, my suitcase or even straight in the bin is quite the mission. “Will I need this before I go away? Can this just be chucked in a box for the new place or will I need it in Thailand? Yes. No. Maybe. Ugh, too hard, I’ll just have a nap instead.”
So there’s all that nonsense, but honestly, it’s more than just being stressed and busy. The real truth behind my blogging absence lately is that I haven’t been in a good place, personally. Mentally and emotionally. Without disclosing too much, as if this is a psychiatrist session, I’ll just say that my head-space has been all over the place and I really haven’t been my happy self. I’ve been consumed by a lot of self-doubt, a lack of confidence and a whole heap of negativity.
It’s been very difficult for me to stay aboard the positivity train lately. I’ve tried, but it’s really just been a mask. I’ve never been one of those ‘fake it to you make it’ kind of people. I can’t lie. Not to others and certainly not to myself. Even answering the simple ‘how are you?’ question has been somewhat of a challenge for me recently. To respond with the standard ‘yeah, good thanks’, despite being far from good, may only be a small white-lie but it’s still something I struggle to do. Dishonesty just does not sit well with me… at all.
And so… every time I have sat down to write a post in the last month, my focus and my passion hasn’t been there. There were times when I would begin writing but would soon become so overwhelmed with the complexity of my thoughts that I’d just stop typing mid-sentence and give up. My thought process would be like dominoes, spiraling out of control from one topic to the next. Spiraling from positive to negative. So many thoughts and absolutely no clear direction. I’m pretty sure I now have about 5 half-written blog posts sitting in limbo because of it. But its because I never want to post anything incomplete or halfhearted and certainly nothing fueled by a negative mindset, that I’ve been M.I.A. One of the sole purposes of One Active Life is to inspire and motivate people in a positive way, so I felt like anything I wrote would just make me a hypocrite. How can I write about leading a positive life, if my own circumstances isn’t reflecting a that?
But it’s time to snap out of it! No more of this all-consuming negativity taking over me. It’s time to head down a more positive path. I am determined to follow a more optimistic direction – to feel happiness, self-confidence, love, inner-peace and self-acceptance again.
Of course, I know it’s not going to be as easy as snapping my fingers, sprinkling some fairy dust and BAM suddenly everything being peachy again, but I do believe just making an active decision to work towards a better me and a healthier mindset is already a step in the right direction.
I’m looking forward to following a more positive path. I feel like what I have coming up in the next couple of weeks will help. Moving to a new place tomorrow, in a new area and with new housemates (whom I can already tell are going to provide a much more happy and social environment to where I’ve been the past year) is one positive step forward. Then flying off to Thailand the next day, spending time with loved ones and getting away from the daily grind for a week is a well-deserved break and a chance for me to recharge. Getting away, chilling out, disconnecting from the world for a while so I can reconnect with me.. that’s what I need. I’m so looking forward to being on a positive path again. And it doesn’t have to wait until I’m in my new house or on holiday, it is going to start right now!!
Healthy body. Healthy mind. Healthy spirit. Healthy world. The path to positivity.
Wish me luck with the move. I plan to bring you more posts soon. Maybe not while I’m in Thailand… but soon, I promise.
Love Elo xx