I truly believe that each and every person who enters your life, whether they stay for a minute, an hour, a year or a lifetime, has been brought into your life for a reason. None of it is by accident. Whether they bring you joy, peace, excitement and love, or disappointment, hurt, frustration and distrust, they have been guided into your life to serve a purpose. Maybe to teach you, test you, inspire you, motivate you, encourage you or all of the above.
The universe is pretty clever; sending people into our lives like that. Yes both the amazing people and the crappy ones. But ultimately it is up to us how we respond to these people, who we decide to keep in our lives and who we know we are better off without.
Just like with toxic substances that cause havoc on our bodies, relationships can be poisonous for us too. If someone is toxic in your life it can be just as detrimental to your wellbeing. Why bother continuing to fuel any negativity in your life if you know very well it is bad for you? If something isn’t good for you, get rid of it.
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”
Every time I stumble across the above quote it really resonates with me. As I have gotten older (and of course wiser) I have learnt more and more about the significance of surrounding myself with positive, like-minded people. I have come to realise who is important to me, what relationships are good for my wellbeing and which ones, well, aren’t.
The beginning of 2014 really tested me on this. Without delving into too much detail, someone very close to me did something pretty damn hurtful to completely lose my trust. And not just once, but twice. It was the fact they hurt me again that made the behaviour unforgivable and the relationship unrepairable. So lesson learnt, I decided I didn’t need this person in my life anymore.
Yes, it may have taken something pretty sh*tty for me to realize it, but I am now thankful for the way that person hurt me. I am so much better off without them in my life. What is even better is that removing that person from my life has made more room and created more opportunities for me to meet and spend time with new, amazing, like-minded people.
Now I know I am not the only genius to have this ground-breaking epiphany. I am not claiming to be some sort of modern day Einstein here, but sometimes we all need a little push, a little reminder that we are the ones in control of how we react to people and situations. We have the ability to make decisions about the people we surround ourselves with and there is absolutely no reason why you have to keep toxic people around.
Just like when you go on a health-kick and start by eliminating unhealthy (or ‘toxic’) items from your diet, you can do the same with your relationships. You need to not only detox your body, but also your mind and world.
“You are the company you keep”.
According to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, we become the average of the five people we spend most of our time with. Not everyone will agree, but personally I see a lot of truth in this. The people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on the person you are and the person you become. They can either make or break you. Build you up or bring you down. Positively impact your character or negatively impact it.
So who do you want to be?
I urge you to take a look at the people in your life. A good look. How are they impacting on how you live your life, how you feel and what you do? Are they making you happy or do they zap all the energy out of you? Do you have fulfilling relationships or toxic ones?
Think about it and decide whether it is time for a relationship detox.
Love Elo xx