This post is probably going to reveal too much; too much about me and what goes on in this little head of mine. But I feel like this is something I need to share. Not only for me, but more importantly for you, the people reading this! As scary as it can seem, sometimes being raw, exposed and showing vulnerability is exactly what needs to be done in order to help others. My hope is that someone, even if it is just one person, reads this and benefits from what I am about to share.
So here goes…
Like many woman, negative body image and low self-esteem is something I have always and probably will continuously battle with.
I have looked in the mirror and been bought to tears by my own reflection.
I have cried myself to sleep over the hatred and disgust I feel for my body.
I have wallowed in self-loathing and destroyed myself with negative self-talk.
I have poked and prodded at all the wobbly bits I wish didn’t exist.
I have refused offers to socialize because I’ve felt too self-conscious to be seen in public.
I have let negative body image and low self esteem drive me into depression.
I have told myself I am unworthy of love and affection because ‘I am not good enough’ for anyone.
I have created an unhealthy relationship with food.
I have starved myself.
I have forced myself to purge.
I have exercised excessively.
I have done all of the above more often than I care to admit. Some of this behaviour only occured during my teens, some in the more recent past and some still consumes me even now.
Yep, I am suddenly feeling very vulnerable and exposed.
I want to be an advocate for positive body image and empower woman to love their bodies, yet I am not even upholding these values in my own life. What I really need to do is practice what I preach because frankly, I am being quite the hypocrite at present.
“You can preach a better serman with your life than with your lips”
It’s time to change the way I think about myself. It’s time to change the language I use when I speak to myself. It’s time to shift my focus from the negatives to the positives.
How am I going to do this? I am going to actively take control of my thoughts, my feelings and my subcoscious mind.
Thoughts are powerful. Our thoughts cause our feelings and what we focus on in our thoughts and feelings, we attract. If we think bad thoughts, we feel bad feelings. So how can we possibly expect to feel good about ourselves if we are never thinking good things? If we are only filling our mind with negativity, we are only going to have feelings of negativity.
Every morning I’m going to wake up and choose a positive mindset. I am going to take complete and utter control of each and every thought that pops into my head. It’s about thinking and feeling love for myself and my body.
This is how…
When I rise in the morning, I will tell myself ‘I am beautiful’, ‘I am fit’, ‘I am healthy’ and ‘I am worthy’.
When I look at my reflection I will see only beauty.
When a negative thought pops into my head, I will replace it with a positive one.
I will write little love notes to myself and stick them on my bathroom mirror so that I am reminded to love myself.
I will express gratitude everyday for my health.
Each day I will look at myself and find something about my body, about me, that I love, and focus all my energy on that.
I will not let my happiness be defined by my appearance. I will love myself.
I will do, think and feel these things every single day!
No more self-destructive thoughts. Our happiness shouldn’t been defined by our image or our external appearance. Happiness and love
is more than just a 6-PAC or a number on a scale. Learn to love yourself by starting from within.
Self-loathing is out and self-loving is in!
Love Elo xx