I once heard that if a friendship lasts over 6 years, it will last a lifetime.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the friendships in my life, both with happiness and with sadness. One friendship in particular seems to be drifting from within reach.
It is upsetting to see the distance between myself and someone who used to be my closest friend growing further and further apart. I have tried my hardest to keep the friendship in tact – to close the gap and make sure our friendship still remains tight-knit but sometimes, all the efforts, all the texts, all the calls, all the attempted catch-ups, seem like a lost cause.
This is not coming from a place of bitterness though. Promise!
To be honest, it used to really get to me. I used to feel hurt that all the efforts made were only one-sided. I used to get upset about it. However, I have very recently come to accept that this is just how it’s going to be from now on. Come to think of it, it’s almost like I have been going through the grieving process. I have felt loss and isolation. I have felt anger. I have felt sadness. And now, I’ve finally made it to the acceptance stage.
Basically, I have come to realize that our lives are heading in different directions. Our lives are no longer compatible. People change. Priorities change. Directions change. And when this happens it’s ok.
It’s can be hard to accept at first. You will want to keep holding on to the idea that the friendship can still go on but eventually you just have to accept that, well, it’s not going to.
Although sadness may come at the realization that a friendship is ending, it also gives you a whole new awareness of the people who have never left your side.
It is at times like these that you really come to appreciate the truly special people and friendships in your life. The ones that have latest through think and thin, years of ups and downs, time apart and long distances. The friends that are always there for fun times, laughter, words of wisdom or even a shoulder to cry on. The friends you can be so completely raw and yourself around with no fear of judgement, only understanding. The ones you may not see or speak to everyday but when you do it’s like nothing has changed. Or maybe it’s those friends that you do speak to every single day because, well, you just can’t imagine a day without communicating.
These are the truly special people, the dear friends you have to hold close. Keep these precious people in your heart forever because these are the friendships that truly matter.
Coming back to the 6-year theory, I get it. The important relationships in my life, the people I know I couldn’t live without and the people who I consider my closest, most intimate friends, have been part of my life for at minimum 6 years. I can honestly say that I have some truly amazing friends (if they are reading this, they will know I’m talking about them) who mean the absolute world to me! They may only be few, but I’ve always believed in quality over quantity. And the friendships I have chosen are of the uttermost highest quality (even if I do say so myself).
So with this in mind, when you start to feel sadness over the people who are drifting away, remind yourself that people’s directions in life change, and remember that the friendships that do still remain are truly special gifts.
Count your blessings and appreciate the special people. And yes, it’s ok to tell them how much you love them every now and then… (I’m sorry to my friends that get the occasional soppy appreciation message :p)
Love Elo xx