Take a Selfie, Fake a Life.

You know that girl you follow on Instagram? The one with the perfectly sculpted body, impeccable bone structure and equally immaculate hair? The one with the flawless complexion and all-year-round sun-kissed glow. Yeah, you know the one? She’s always attending the best events, off on adventures and travelling to exotic destinations. She doesn’t go a day without posting a snap in another beautiful location, wearing another amazing outfit and hanging out with her exclusive posse. She seems to have it all. The beauty, the boyfriend, the wardrobe, the success. She is living the dream life.

Or so you think.

Social media isn’t real life. Groundbreaking stuff I know (sarcasm). But seriously, as obvious as it sounds, it is as easily forgotten. Scrolling through the socials is so engrained into our daily routine that we have become completely desensitised by what we see. It’s totally normal to see bikini babes and bootys while sipping on our morning coffee. Or be bombarded with socialites cheersing their cocktails (mate, its a Tuesday!) while the rest of us commute to work. And yet, we don’t even think twice because, #Instagram.

But I’m here to deliver you a #TruthBomb! (Admittedly, one you’ve probably heard a number of times before, but it’s an important message nonetheless).

No one’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed.

No one’s! Not even the chick you were thinking about when you read that first paragraph. As much as the Grammers’ and Fakebookers (*cough* I mean, Facebookers) want you to believe their life is all sparkles and smiles, it just ain’t the case! What you see on social media is only a snapshot. A mere snippet. Just 10% of someone’s life. (If that!) All carefully and craftily selected to paint a picture of the ‘perfect life’. Each photograph chosen to represent a perceived version of reality.

Even what I portray on social media isn’t accurate to how I spend 100% of my time. More often than not, I walk around with a messy bun and a bare face. I certainly don’t wear makeup to the gym and I rock my daggy old clothes way too often. And guess what, sometimes I even post photos of me somewhere cool when *shock horror* I’m not really there. (Most likely I am just lying in bed). And it’s not because I want people to believe my life is all sunshine and rainbows every day. It’s because, well, it’s boring and honestly, nobody really cares. That’s the thing about social media though. The user, Grammer, FBer or Tweeter are the ones in control. So naturally they mainly share their ‘best bits’.

As long as you can distinguish the difference between Instagram and reality, its all good. But when you start comparing yourself and your life to someone you follow on the Gram, that’s when it gets a little dangerous.

Comparison in any form is stupid. Pointless. (And a great way to feel shitty, pretty quickly.). So when you add social media into the mix, you’ve just hit a whole new level of dangerous comparison. You’re no longer sizing yourself up against someone you see in the ‘real world’, but you are comparing yourself to an unrealistic version of someone. Instagram is all filters, editing, smoothing, refining and perfecting a pose. It’s taking 40 almost identical selfies to choose just one worthy of being broadcast to the world. Why on earth would you compare yourself to something so unobtainable? Something the person in the photo themselves cannot even achieve without a filter and FaceTune.

And yes, admittedly some of these instafamous and social media influencers may be living a somewhat more glamorous life than most of us commoners, but they are still human. They may get paid to attend A-list parties and spruik brands, but they still do normal stuff too. Your insta crush may be your ultimate #bodgoals, but I bet they still have their insecurities. I’m sure they still have their off days and heck, I bet they still walk around make-up free, with a greasy top knot and ugly trackies on sometimes too.

That’s what you have to remember. What you see on social media is only a highlight real. An unrealistic perception of someone’s life. A story. So quit the comparisons. Stop allowing your self worth to be determined by what you see on social media. No more comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. The fact is, you will never be someone else. So why bother? You are unique, individual and that is something to embrace.

Love Elo x

Advertisements

Health isn’t about how you look, it’s about how you FEEL.

I used to have a very toxic relationship with my body, with food and with exercise. Although it has taken hindsight for me to realise this, I once had zero respect for my body and didn’t treat it with love. I’d flog myself in the gym, restrict my eating, count calories, weigh myself not just every day, but after every meal and I used to hurl abuse at the person standing before me in the mirror. I used to take selfies in the mirror to watch my ab progression and make sure my ribs and hipbones started protruding a little more each day. I’d starve myself for days leading up to an ‘important event’ to make sure I was ‘skinny enough for it. I didn’t realise at the time how unhealthy it was and the damage I was doing. In fact I thought I was killing it! I was fit. I was skinny. I had abs and quads. Biceps and hard rounded glutes. I was healthy. I was disciplined. I was in control.

I was under the illusion I was healthy af. Even despite my sister coming to me from a place of love and telling me I needed to calm my farm, I thought she was cray cray. I thought she was delusional and possibly even envious that I had such discipline. Pfft! How self-righteous of me!!! But now, now I can see that she was right. I was the delusional one. It was excessive. I was excessive. I would exercise every single day, mostly twice a day, and sometimes 3 times a day. I used a calorie-counting app to track every single morsal of food that entered my mouth, down to each individual almond. It wasn’t a successful day unless I out-exercised the calories I put in. On days when I knew I’d only be able to exercise once, the only thing I would consume was a small can of tuna. Other times I even tried to be in calorie deficit (burn off more calories than I consumed.) When I discovered that, it quickly became a dangerous obsession. It was a new challenge. How does any of this sound healthy?

No part of me was listening to how my body felt. It was all about how I looked. Exercising and feeding my body wasn’t coming from a place of love but a place of fear. A fear of ‘getting fat’, a fear of putting on weight. A fear of being ugly. A fear of loosing muscle definition. A fear of being unattractive and unworthy of love. I exercised because I hated how my body looked, not because I loved the way exercise made my body feel.

I was never formally ‘diagnosed’ with an eating disorder or body dismorphia but now it’s blaringly obvious that’s exactly what it was. My earliest memory of what I now know are signs of disordered eating is age 10. 10! I was in year 6! I remember going to school with no packed lunch. Intentionally. With a busy shift-working Mum, I was expected to make my own lunch at that age, which worked perfectly for me because I could get away with not eating. I thought I was fat (at age 10! Wtf!). So not eating meant I had control over my weight. After school I would binge, out of pure starvation. This continued (and probably worsened) throughout high school. But by then it was noticed by my friends and my mum, who tried to intervene and threatened to take me to a physiologist on many occasions.

That was obviously the beginning of some unhealthy habits but the issues really peaked when I was in my early twenties. Low self-esteem was already raging and then I got into the bikini-modelling world, which I’m sure you can imagine really didn’t help my lack of self-worth and only exaggerated my ‘need’ to be ‘skinny’. I look back at photos from those days and remember exactly what I was thinking in those moments. I genuinely thought I was fat! I remember going to competitions, having not eaten all day (but still somehow having completed two hours of intense exercise), a tiny-framed 47kg girl and thinking I was huge next to the rest of the babes there. I wasn’t though. I was the furtherest thing from fat. Photo evidence and hindsight has made me realise that I was tiny! I looked fit and healthy because I had abs and defined muscles but I was verging on too skinny. What was going on in my head was the epitome of self-loathing, disrespect for my body and a completely dismorphed view of myself. I may not have appeared it, but I was unhealthy af. Every workout was fuelled by self-hatred and every meal (or lack there of) was eaten with underlying guilt. Nothing about how I approached my health and fitness was healthy! (Yes, this was about the time my sister had words).

A few years later, I went through a stage of binge-eating, purging then overeating again. It was fuelled by depression. I was living in a small apartment with a not-so-social housemate. I was lonely, I’d had my heart stomped all over by someone I trusted and things just spiraled. I still exercised, but not as much. And when I did, I felt so self-conscious and uncomfortable in my body that I didn’t like being at the gym. I knew so many people there that I was embarrassed to show face. I would lock myself away from the world and I would secretly overeat – searching for happiness through food. At this time I was the unhappiest, the unhealthiest and as a result the heaviest I have ever been. It took an eye-opening conversation with my Mum to realise I was depressed and needed to get help.

Like Oprah, my weight yo-yoed for years. (Just trying to connect myself to Oprah ya know?) I did so much damage to my metabolism that my body didn’t know what was going on. It had gone through starvation and then overeating, to starvation again. Throughout my adult years I have been as light as 46kg and as heavy as 63kg. None of these weights or any numbers in between were ever healthy. Because throughout all those years, my relationship with myself, with food and with exercise was toxic. It was based on hatred not love.

Fast forward almost a decade from those undereating, over-exercising, calorie-counting, gym junkie days, and here I am, the happiest in my body that I have ever been! But more than anything, my mind is the healthiest it’s ever been. My whole philosophy around food and exercise has transformed. I approach my health from a place of love and respect. So much so that I only want to do what’s best for it. I listen to my body. How it feels, when it needs fuel and when it desires movement. I don’t have a regimented fitness routine like I once did or plan my meals out down to the minute. I eat when I am hungry and exercise when I feel like it. I fuel my body with nutrients and nourishing foods. But I treat myself too. I don’t bust my ass in the gym daily. Gone are the days when I would approach training with the objective to look good. I no longer focus solely on aesthetics and how I looked in bikini. Now I exercise to feel good. To feel fit and healthy.

Weirdly, once I stopped acting from a place of fear (of getting fat) and started acting out of love for my health, my body seemed to find its own happy weight. Sounds strange I know. But when I used to slog myself at the gym and feel guilty about the food I was eating (especially if it wasn’t a salad), I was never happy. My body wasn’t happy. There was always something to improve or weight I couldn’t shift. But now, I’m pretty fucking happy with how I look. My body has healed itself from all the metabolic damage and within the last few months I’ve unintentially lost weight and dropped a size without even trying. (And I’m stoked about it!) I didn’t put a plan in place or start weighing my food or even weighing myself. It just happened when I shifted my focus from aesthetics to how my body feels inside. I guess there really is something to this whole ‘listening to your body’ thing.

Of course I’m not completely healed from my low self esteem, disordered eating, body-dismorphia years. Fear still rears it’s ugly head every now and then. But I tell you what, I’m pretty fucking happy to be in the place I’m at now. My relationship with food, fitness and my body has completely flipped. I may not look the fittest or strongest I’ve ever looked but mentally I’m the healthiest me I’ve even been. I’m comfortable in my skin. I eat to fuel my body now. I even eat chocolate and ice cream and other ‘no-go’ foods sometimes. If that’s what I feel like, then I have it. (I seem to do better without self-inflicted restrictions). I probably only go to the gym 1-2 times a week but still move my body most days. I don’t even own a set of scales and couldn’t even tell you the last time I weighed myself. Numbers shnumbers! When I’m hungry, I eat. When I want to exercise, I move. I understand the importance of looking after my body from the inside out. It’s the place where my soul resides so I have to and I WANT to look after it!

Health is not a number on the scales, a particular shape or a specific size. Health is all about how you feel. From within. Not how you look. Remember that.

Love Eloise x

8 Truths 2017 Taught Me

2017 has been an amazing year. I’m pretty sure I said this at the close of 2016 too, but seriously this year really topped it. We bought a house by the beach, started renovating, expanded our family with our fur baby Bodhi, took time off to explore Broome, Bali and Margaret River and did it all while remaining sickly happy and in love (vomit). The new job has certainly brought its challenges and of course there have been the occassional shitty moments but from those, only came lessons. So here are some of the things I learnt in 2017.

1. Balance, balance, balance!

No, I’m not talking about walking on a tightrope or nailing the perfect headstand (I mean, you can do that too if you like). I’m talking about creating a balanced lifestyle. Work took over my life way too much this year and if that taught me anything, it was the importance of a positive work/life balance. Spending time at home with my loved ones and making time to do the things I enjoy is more important to me than a few extra dollars in the bank. Enjoying life and the experiences it offers, wins every time!

2.Make self-care a priority.

I was run down and sick way too often this past year. I was burning the candle at both ends. Working way too hard and neglecting my own health and self care. We are only human and can only do so much. We only have this one life and one body to live it in so it’s important to take care of it. Move your body regularly. Nourish your body by eating lots of fresh, healthy and gut-healing foods. Take care of your mental health with down time, meditation and positive affirmations. Just look after yourself.

3. ‘No’ is not a bad word.

It’s ok to say no sometimes. After reading Sarah Knight’s ‘The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck’ I was all over this. I stopped feeling guilty for saying ‘no’ to attending events I dont want to go to, or filling my days off catching up with people I can barely even call an aquaintence. Life is too bloody short to spend your days doing things you don’t enjoy. It’s ok to say no. And it’s ok to not give a reason too.

4. Nourish your mind.

My job does not challenge me intellectually. At all. Sorry, but it’s just a fact. I need more mental stimulation than what being a flight attendant brings to the table. I crave personal growth and need to use my brain sometimes so I don’t feel like a total dumb dumb. Reading books and listening to motivating podcasts is one way tonourish your mind and help with self improvement. I’ve learnt I need to cultivate my creative side more often and get back in to writing. It’s good for my mind and for my soul.

5. Doggos are Life.

Look, along with the entire world population, I’ve always known this but since getting a fur baby of my own, this has never been more real. I’ve become the ultimate #dogmum and I’m not ashamed of it. (We’re not having human children after all). Nothing makes me happier than coming home to Bodhi. He lights up my life and has made me feel a whole new level of love. Dogs are such joyful, loyal and loving creatures that make you feel so bloody happy. You can never be sad or lonely or cold (they are the best cuddle buddies) when you have a doggo around. Fuck, I love my dog.

6. Exercise for health not aesthetics.

When you stop focusing on how your body looks and start focusing on how it feels, your whole relationship with exercise will change.

I lost weight this year (not heaps or anything but enough to be noticeable I guess) and I don’t really know when or how it happened. People would comment on how I was looking and ask me what I’d been doing, and in all honestly, I couldn’t give them a definitive answer. It wasn’t that I’d suddenly upped my fitness regime or starting counting my macros. If anything it was the opposite. I actually stopped obsessing over how I looked and what I ate. I stopped feeling guilty if I didn’t make it to the gym every day or ate too much chocolate. I just exercised when I had time and energy to do so. Now I exercise to feel good, to feel fit, to be healthy. I’ve relaxed my eating and allow myself to indulge when I’m craving something. No guilt attached. I listen to my body and respond to it by how I feel, not how I look.

7. Appreciate the little things.

My favourite moments are always the simple ones. The first taste of coffee in the morning. Lazy Sunday sleep ins with no alarms. Cuddles in bed with my boys. The feeling of soft white beach sand between my toes. The smell of the ocean. The blue hues of the sea. Sunsets. The way Bodhi wags his tail with his entire body when he is happy I am home. The first sip of wine after a long ass day. Sunshine. Scoring the beach to myself. A well earned holiday. Finishing a good book. These are the things that I love and appreciate the most.

8. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Gratitude will change your life. Seriously. (Oprah totes agrees btw). The more you express gratitude for the things you have, the more you will have to be grateful for. It’s so easy to loose sight of all of our blessings. We are always quicker to dwell on the negatives than we are to be thankful for all the positive things in our life. I for one, know I can complain too often (mostly about being away from home or being tired) but with a little perspective I realise life really isn’t that bad. I’m lucky enough to have a job that pays the bills and allows me to travel around Australia. I have food on the table, people who love me, a house to live in and an amazing partner. I’m surrounded by love and happiness and I’m truly so grateful to live so close to the coast. When you stop and really truly allow yourself to wholeheartedly feel gratitude, your whole world can transform. When you take notice of all the abundance in your life, the blessing will come pouring in.


Whether 2017 was a great year or not so much. Even if it had more downs than up, I hope the lessons learnt through it all made it all worthwhile. Every end marks a new beginning. Happy New Year. Have a happy, safe and blessed 2018.

Love Eloise x